As we continue to think of and pray for the victims and families of Newtown, CT, please also consider your colleagues in Connecticut. They have never faced tragedy like this and we hope they never will again. Children's funerals are never easy. When children die under such unimaginable circumstances, the task of serving the families and helping them begin to heal is all the more challenging.
What Can You Do To Help?......NFDA has issued a bulletin indicating ways funeral directors can assist.
The instinct to help in times like this is natural. At this time, CFDA has not requested any additional volunteer assistance. Should their needs change, OFDA will notify you.
The Connecticut Funeral Directors Association has established an account with Liberty Bank to aid the families of the Newtown shooting with funeral and related expenses. NFDA has made a $5,000 contribution to this victims' assistance fund; the Funeral Service Foundation has also donated $5,000. Contributions may be sent to:
"CFDA Newtown Support Fund"
C/O Liberty Bank
171 Silas Deane Highway
Wethersfield, CT 06109
Attn: Ben Floren, Liberty Bank
The Funeral Service Foundation also established an assistance fund to support the needs of victims, funeral directors and the community of Newtown. Please visit the Foundation website (www.funeralservicefoundation.org) and look for a button that will take you to information about how to contribute.
With the permission of Marysville, OH funeral director, Scott Underwood, Underwood Funeral Home, we want to share an article Mr. Underwood authored over the week end….
I am blessed to know what a father's love feels like.
For years, my single most constant prayers to God have been (1) thanksgiving for the son and two daughters that my wife and I have been given and (2) the plea for me to go to my grave without ever personally experiencing a father's grief.
As a mortician, I've gently carried the lifeless body of a little tyke more often than I wanted. (Another mom and dad's lifeless little tyke... not mine.) I have slowly lowered a precious little one with ruby red lips and inch long eyelashes into a box for in which they would be laid to rest - forever. Always knowing that God will hold the youngster in his loving arms, I cannot comprehend how a father and mother can honor me to tie their first grader's shoes for the last time or button their frilly dress for the last time or zip up their denim trousers with a holes in the knees for the last time before placing their little head on a soft pillow for the last time. (And I really don't know if it is a honor. At least it's what needs to be done and it's what I can do since my own children are alive and well.) And most often, I've been the last person to intently look at an innocent pink face with eyes closed and wonder why. And I’ve been the last person to double-check a breathless little chest. And I’ve been the last person to make a final caressing inspection of a beat less heart for the last time.
It is unpleasant. It doesn't feel natural or right. Crying, or sobbing is the only solace for all who grieve until it is time for the heart and mind to meet -just to begin the wondering of what has happened. And then, ONLY if the heart and the mind ever come close together for a mom or dad to begin to wonder. And ONLY IF there is any solace at all!
To those mothers and fathers all over the world who have been or are faced with goodbyes to children - it is my plea to God that He gives as much solace as a parent will take to allow the mom and dad to continue just a mere existence.
This year, I am honored again to conduct our Marysville community’s presentation of Handel's Christmas portion of "Messiah." The Air for Alto No. 20 reassures, "He shall feed His flock like a shepherd and He shall gather the lambs with His arm, and carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those that are with young."
And as I direct the musicians from the conducting podium, I get the father's proud privilege of hearing my grown daughter sing solo like a little angel. And, the best part - I am allowed to physically, emotionally and spiritually love her anew - again- and recall from my own heart and mind as they come together, what a joy and blessing it is to have her and my other two precious children- alive - in my life.
To the desperate moms and dads and grieving families in that small town in Connecticut, you have my deeper than deep sympathy. I hold you in my thoughts and prayers - at the place inside me where the heart and mind meets.
It’s only the least I can do as…
I am a blessed father.
Funeral Service Suppliers Step Forward…..
We are proud of the funeral service suppliers who have generously donated their products to aid the families. According to Connecting Directors they include, caskets provided by Matthews International, vaults from Wilbert Burial Vault and grief related materials from Front Runner and NFDA. The generosity of these suppliers and all vendors who support efforts such as these is representative of the support and strength in the entire funeral service community.
We appreciate the incredible care and compassion funeral directors demonstrate every day to the families and their community. We are proud to be the Association that represents you.